The End Where I Begin
by HappyBunny6678
Summary: A short Growley oneshot about what really happened the night Gabriel died in the Elysian.


**A/N:** Yes yes miracle of all miracles, I'm alive! Here is a Growley fic for your viewing pleasure. Hey, I'm getting better at oneshots! R/R please. :) -Bunny

* * *

**The End Where I Begin**

It's common knowledge that Gabriel died for the first time at the Elysian. Just after Sam and Dean ushered Kali out and Gabriel glanced back at them, teary eyed and frantic.

They thought she was the love of his life. That she was the one he was gazing at as if all hope for him had been lost.

They were so very wrong.

Gabriel hadn't arrived at the Elysian with the intention of helping the Winchesters. Sure that would likely be the eventuality of his actions but they weren't driven by the need to help Fate's biggest dickfaces.

He hadn't counted on the lesser Pantheons being there though. That was certainly... Well he really should have realized given the name 'The Elysian'. Derp. **  
**He hadn't counted on Crowley being there, either.

But of course the demonic dick followed Gabriel to the most dangerous place in the world for a demon. Right into a building filled with Gods who might not have the juice of an archangel but can still reduce him to absolutely nothing in seconds. Thank God he thought to make himself mostly invisible. **  
**Crowley would never hide himself from Gabriel though.

In hindsight, it probably makes sense though. Crowley wouldn't ever want Gabriel to die alone. He'd want Gabriel to know he has support and he's loved and he'd be missed. Not that Crowley would ever admit to that, the stubborn ass.

Gabriel knows it already.

To be honest, Gabriel didn't want to die alone either. He didn't even want to get out of bed that morning. Wanted to just stay wrapped up in Crowley forever, never having to leave for food or water or any of that other human crap they put up with to feel like a normal couple.

Let's be honest, Gabriel's not stupid. At all. When he planned to go to the Elysian to try and stop his brother, he knew he was as good as dead. There was no alternative, really. Not to this. Not this time. So when he got out of bed and got dressed and kissed Crowley softly - one last time - on the cheek, it broke his heart into a million tiny pieces to hear Crowley plead with him, in a whisper, not to go. But this is Gabriel and he loves Crowley with every single fibre of his being but his _**brothers**_.

Gabriel pretends not to see Crowley's tear. He knows there will be just the one and the time to react is now and he should tease Crowley but right now he just wants to look at Crowley like a dying man wants to enjoy his last cigarette.

He could sit there all day - for eternity even.

But he fucking doesn't.

He goes to the Elysian, not realizing that Crowley is there until it's too late to make him leave without the others noticing and tearing him to shreds.**  
**Gabriel keeps himself backed into a corner at all times, keeping the smaller - only in stature, he notes - creature behind him at all times. He will not fucking lose Crowley. Not today.

Crowley's arms wrap around his torso and lips wet with what Gabriel assumes is a mix of tears and saliva meet the back of his neck.**  
**Gabriel never wants him to let go.

When Kali pulls Gabriel away, presumably to have sex in some darkened storage room, Gabriel sees his chance. He uses this as a cover. A poor, pathetic cover to have one last hurrah with the Goddess who's all hands.

Everyone believes it.

Kali can't see Crowley and it's not because of the lack of lighting. Good.

Gabriel can still call in favors though, before he dies, and Kali owes him more than one.

He wants Crowley protected. For him to get out safely and live a happy life until his time comes.

Kali agrees.

She pretends not to hear Crowley's near silent sob. Or the way she can just barely see the peace and acceptance settle over Gabriel right after he hides away the guilty heartbreak reflecting in those beautiful eyes of his.

Kali will always regret not being able to do more to stop this.

Well... Nothing but protect Crowley for Gabriel.

His dying wish.

Then Lucifer is upon them. Chaos and slaughter ensue. Lesser Gods fall at his feet. Gabriel is powerless to stop this and so is Kali. It will never be enough.**  
**Gabriel is standing before his brother, calm and ready with the blade he knows is more of a comfort than a weapon. He could never kill his brothers, angel of Death or no.

Gabe catches Sam and Dean ushering Kali out of The Elysian. Feels Crowley cling to him, warm and trembling for one last time. Hears him whisper his goodbye and I love you.

Crowley lets go.

Gabriel looks back at them, the tears brimming for Crowley's eyes only even though he knows the others will inevitably see.**  
**

When he mouths "I love you so much," everyone assumed it was for Kali.

Only Gabriel, Crowley and Kali knew otherwise.

And it will never be for anyone but Crowley.

After that, Gabriel has no way of knowing that Crowley returns to The Elysian and stares at his ashes for a long time before leaving, even touches them. But he never looks back and Gabriel would be proud of that.


End file.
